Pappa wants mamma naked
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
