im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
