I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
