He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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