great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
