Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
