he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
