yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
