you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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