He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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