For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
