the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
