can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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