4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize