I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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