You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
