thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
