So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
