Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
