Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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