today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
