come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
