there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
