My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
