Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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