I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
