You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
