There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
