I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
