if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
