i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
