I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
