Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
