It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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