i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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