I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
