Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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