brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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