Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
