You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
