I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
