just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
