I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My nipple is on Facebook.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
