I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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