apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
