Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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