your parents love me but you hate me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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