No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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