belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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