dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize