How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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